Nineteen

In honour of being legal, here's nineteen things I've come to learn.

Hurrah I'm finally nineteen (basically an excuse to blog post)!
I don't feel any different, but for sure a lot has happened. Perhaps writing this at 4am has gotten me more reflective than usual, but seeing as how I always get questioned on how I keep doing what I do, I thought it'd be great to show you nineteen of them. 

Please note, I don't like to do cringe-worthy or sappy stuff, so I hope this doesn't come off as that. Instead, I'll try my best to keep things based on personal experience, or related to analogies that I find to embody the title perfectly. 

Feel free to interpret this list as you like, but don't take it so literally since it's based around me and my emotional experiences (in other words: what works for me may not work for you). 

Disclaimer: If you hate reading long paragraphs, just look at the bolded parts. 

1. Your biggest competition is yourself.

For most of my life, I've always compared myself to others. But that’s not how life should be. How can I compete with someone whose life experiences are so different from mine? I can never be them, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't use myself today as a measurement of comparison for the me of next year.

2. Don't project your expectations onto other people. (unless its a group project and the marks are shared) 

No one holds the same values as you. 

3. Never hesitate to state your opinion.

I used to be afraid to raise my hand to ask questions, but when I started blogging, getting the right shots, and planning a collaboration - these things all required me to state what I wanted. No one will know what you want or hope to achieve unless you direct and communicate your own vision.

4. Always forgive but never forget (thats up to you).

At any age I can say we've all handled bullshit, and often times it's best to forgive. 

But as the saying goes... 

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

5. Unless you've tried your best, you have no reason to feel upset.

You can't do better than your 100% effort.
Deep down, if you truly question yourself whether you have or haven't, then you already know the answer. 

6. Not everyone will like you. (I know, what a shocker)

As a child I've always held the mentality that if you're nice to everyone, you will garner the same response in return. However that's not always the case. It was hard learning this, because at first it led me to believe there was something wrong with me, and that I as a person was not worth the value of others. But to be honest... some people actually don't care, and that’s all right. Just stop wasting your time and start appreciating those who do.

(if it makes you feel better, there are some people who don't like money)

7. You are you and no one will love you better than yourself.

The longest relationship everyone has been in is with him/herself.

Never forget that. 

8. Improvements aren't garnered easily.

9. If you want it, you'll do whatever it takes to achieve it.

This just comes from personal experience, but when it comes to something important, I'll always make time for it. Such as rearranging your schedule so you can go get ice cream with your friends after work instead of going home to sleep.  

10. Self-awareness is everything.
I always try to shrug off others opinions about me, but knowing how people perceive me is beneficial, especially in the work force because it teaches you how to adapt to situations according to each individual. 

11. Never settle.

Constantly acquiring knowledge to develop your portfolio prevents you from being out of the game.

12. Alone time is quality time.

After three days of going out, even I need to go home for a nap, shower, and a good Netflix marathon.

13. You don't need a relationship to validate yourself.
I get it – I too sometimes wish I had someone to take cute pics with, but I also know that I've already made it through nineteen years on this planet without needing someone else to define my self-worth. 

14. Trying is not lame, it's actually pretty cool.

Perhaps it took years of never trying to realize that it’s great putting all your effort into something. I used to think that if I tried and failed I'd look like a loser, but this led me to feel unsatisfied with myself. So I decided to give it my all in (almost) everything I do, because what’s the worst that can happen? 
At least I can say I tried.

15. Life is like winged eyeliner, its not always even. 

Life isn't always fair. Some days you'll feel invincible, and some days you'll feel like a potato about to get cut into French fries. 

16. You do you.
If it takes you longer to achieve something than someone else, then so be it. As long as you reach your own goal, that’s all that matters. 

17. It's OK to cry / vent.
Personally, I dislike crying or venting because it comes off as my weaknesses, but we’re only human, and it’s ok to let your feelings get the best of you once in a while. 

18. You dictate your own happiness. 
I always try to accept any emotion I feel, whether it is detrimental or insignificant. However, I won't allow it to dictate my happiness or dedication in reaching my goals (which right now is to finish editing my photos so I can sleep more).

19. Never stop dreaming. 

As long as you know where you're going, and you feel like you're on the right path,

nothing can stop you.

Till next time lovelies!

Komorebi(n.): Sunlight that filters through the leaves of the trees

Xo Charmyn

On me: dress via Topshop, heels via Sammydress & necklace via Ardene
Photography: Diane
Editing: Dreamer Charmyn